These dudes, man...

Last night I ran over from work to the convenience store to buy some wine really quickly before midnight. It was 11:59 and there were about four people milling around the counter, but I held my wine up to the clerk with a hopeful/sad look and he invited that the other patrons might let me cut, which they did. I only had one glass of it at home last night and today it exploded all over my kitchen counters, cabinets and drawers, sitting there for a good bit while I was napping and the roommates were away so that it had time to really sink into the porous wood countertops. It occurs to me now this must be karma. Although I can't really say that I did anything wrong concerning the wine, although it was called "Santa Cristina" which can't be good. 


Today, it rained really hard in Austin for a good while and it happens that I work in a low-lying area right by the creek and the water came up hard and fast. While I have said in the past that I am not afraid of anything much, I realize now that was a big fat lie. I am extremely fearful of high rising waters. I have had many a dream that I drive my old blue Mustang straight into the Leon River. I always am able to get out but in real life, that shit is not okay with me. I think this hails back to childhood when we lived in a veritable hole in Hamilton County, by a creek, and when it would rain, it would flood almost certainly. Not only would our house flood, but we would be trapped in by the creek with no where to go. This is what happened tonight at The Shoal Creek Saloon. The creek came out of it's bed and came at the restaurant, but La Policia were blocking the road from all sides, making it impossible the leave. I tried to remain calm but I plumb freaked out. I thought I was going to have an anxiety attack.


Get home to a new bottle of wine. And then a text. What's this? A text from a strange number? Who is it? A DUDE. At one AM? What is with these bros? Who the fuck does this guy think he is? Its some chump from like eight months ago who I danced with casually, friendly-like in a bar and thought he was cute, gave him my number and I am repaid with a one AM text? He's all "whatchu up to tonight?" What the shit. 


Its these dudes, man. These dudes in this town. They won't call you up on the phone. They don't take you on dates. They don't know how to properly communicate at all. I dated a guy last year who when I would bring up important questions he didn't want to answer (over text, of course, he wouldn't answer my phone calls) he would send me a cute photo of his dog, or a hilarious internet meme or some such shit. 


Me: Do you want to go with me to Hamilton to meet my family? 
Exstupidboyfriend: (picture of dog)


And so it continues. I have since encountered a male who when he does not want to hang out with me anymore, instead of saying this, tells me he likes men. 


Me: What are you doing tonight?
Stupid Guy: I think I like penis. 
Me: Okay, cool. 


Of course, we all know this fellow does not like men, he just does not want to talk to me, a smart, funny, pretty, tall, tan woman who likes him.

Amirite?

Anywho, I wanna know who these Dude Bros think they are. Texting me at one o'clock in the morning is so distasteful. And especially when I don't even know who you are. Geez Louise, you guys. Let's have some couth, mk? 

Okay, I'm off my high horse. 

You know what? No, I'm not. This is going to continue. I have a hell of a lot of good stories about how dumb men are and I think I'm gonna keep it up. 

Coming soon: Boyfriend takes Brynnan to strip club with seven of his Bros! Boyfriend talks to Old Friend the duration of the night! Old Friend is a stripper!